Posts tagged text: lulz

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

(via darkrescues)

154,372 notes

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#text: lulz

lamapalooza:

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

(via demoiselledefortune)

47,675 notes

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#text: lulz

#cowboy

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

damonssalvatoree:

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

-hail hydra

(via devinalh)

165,446 notes

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#text: lulz

#hail hydra

#offtopic but now I imagined that what seishirou whispered to subaru before dying in x was 'hail hydra'

#and that's kinda hilarious

umnachtung:

quillusquillus:

eowyner:

do german snakes go ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß

to be honest swiss don’t use ß when writing german so I automatically read that as a raspberry noise

image

(via pengiesama)

71,847 notes

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#languages

#snake

#text: lulz

pantyslime:

shine bright like an overly detailed anime eyeball drawn by a seventh grader on their math homework

(via townsenta)

61,133 notes

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#text: lulz

starinhercorner:

Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”:

  • soothe your boobs
  • de-stress your breasts
  • undo the calamity that is your mammaries
  • adjust your bust before it combusts

Thank you for your time

(via konekoyoukai)

399,697 notes

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#calm your tits

#text: lulz

dorkyhanji:

dorkyhanji:

if someone tells you your clothing style is gay, respond with:

"yeah, it came out of the closet this morning."

(via firstfairytale)

497,920 notes

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#text: lulz

inspectra:

ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions. the russian, french, and dance dance

(via azartti)

306,609 notes

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#text: lulz

socialjusticewankers:

a man types his facebook status.

"Women who participate in No Shave November will have to participate in No D December!"

fast forward days later. men everywhere get up to go to the bathroom. they pull down their pants, look down, and scream.

their penises have all vanished.

it is December 1. 

No D December has begun.

(via townsenta)

94,976 notes

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#text: lulz

lbby:

evanedinger:

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

im so fucking angry

(via calico-skies)

431,404 notes

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#you motherfuckers

#text: lulz

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